» who???
Uhhhhhh. heres where i put current thoughts or small ramblings , just getting things out of my system and out thereshort vrs. of who i am i gesss. Im carpert or roze, and the master of this corrner of the web. i really just make wahatever comes to me at the moment so i just call myself a "creative." I dont get out much and there are deep issues with me x3!!! i also cannot spell for the life of me im so sorry////
» 4/20/24
ahaha i wanted to update the site six days ago But i forgot i get seasonal depression when the spring starts!!! i get really fucking sick and fell awful and then my allergies flare up and everything that can happens with my allergies!!!!! Thne then last week monday i lost my Fucking cannon Camera!, and I Know its in the house but i Just Cant Find It At All!!!!!!!! so that deepened my depressive slump but then my apple pencil broke,,,, Horayyyyy!! i got a new one yesterday but go dam am i not doing well. I have stuff from last month, new art, and my other camera ig but thats about it for now.
heres to finding my camera and doing better (and a little sleep maybe)!
» 3/2/24
Again Im updating at 12Am. But all that matters is that as of today I am 80% done putting up my videogame pages! all I need to do now it sit around and upload a few videos, simple enough. and since i'm mostly done i wanted to give a little check in. next on my list was the show page for reviews/talking about things ive watched but its harder than i thought. Sometimes i feel like i have nothing good to add, and ive never talked about shows i really like before so i really have to think when I shouldnt. More than embarrassing I can tell you that. (also why there is Still Nothing on the writing page.)Nobody talks about how hard it is having ocs. I mean they do, but thats already when you have them do you hear it. Theres never a warning about how painful it is to want to share but as the blue moon rises you lose your voice. personally have a brain defect called 30 plus little people chipping away at me and i dont know where to start most days and go back and change my css so slightly you would never notice! Ya see I have this new found despise for notion and want to try a different archiving system. Notion lacks the flexibility I need and is more primed for more words, while something like millanote seems to freeform for me to truly start. Though I might as well give it a shot, im lazy when it comes to this thing because I know its gonna take forever but you really gotta dive in head first some days yaknow.
Anyway the next thing i wanna have up is some oc stuff or my music page if i get to scared, see ya!
» 2/4/24
Ive decided to try and wake up at around 6 on the weekends, waking up earlier gives you more time in the day which i would love to have on my decompressing days. And while I would like to credit myself just trying to become better i must admit that i signed up for a 10am art class and was unprepared, all the extra sleep in the world cant compete with my snug-as-a-bug-in-a-rug ass until 8:45Am. Today i set the alarm and actually got things done, I was able to waste about 2 hours this morning on ebay looking at more digi cams, specifically i'm eyeing some camcorders, but also 3 hours this afternoon trying to do work! And instead of it being 7 it was 4:50!!! God it feels so good. Really this is also good prep work for the precollege program i just got accepted into, ill be going out of state and staying in the dorm. Its like real college but only for 3 weeks so it's going to be very stressful. Im not quite prepared but!! im saving my worry for April, because i have so much school work lined up for myself. Away from boring stuff, im working on quite a few new pages, i like starting thing but then i have to write, and im lazyy (i don't have the time in between more urgent already mentioned things). as this is a passion project it'll have to take a backseat for a while, while i try and keep back up with school. Its unfortunate really, the second semester and i gotta lock in cause all my classes ended up sucking but i can't afford to fail since i gotta get to this precollege thing.Yeah but ill try to keep up with anything i draw or keep this bi-weekly to weekly updates going. I expect to be very tired next week waking up early all week but ill come out the other side stronger!! oh and an aside about the notes recent digital thing i upload, the one with the mild nsfw warning (its just nuidy nothing sexual). They are my ocs!! i have to so so badly write for them but that will require working on the writing page because the way that it's set up now isnt great. I really wanted to make it thinking it would force me off my ass and to put something up but the page being up was enough for my brain. I might just throw something up with this to stop thinking about it.
Oh on that topic while looking for someone i last emailed forever i found old oc lore emailed to myself from my old tablet. They don't tell you your old writings give you war flashbacks because I was reading it over and could see the exact red hue of the notes font color I chose. I thought it went so hard, I couldn't sleep that night. Thinking up ways to put my lore up is giving me a headache considering how much i've cannoised everything in my head and how little it makes sense on paper. But i have to try my best, the second major i signed up for was illustration and comics after all! That's all for now, I dont want to write too too much now.
Take care then.
» 1/28/24
I t's 12 am rn and i've finished the art pages woooo!! ive got to take pictures of my sketches when its light again, but for now i'm quite tired. Still i thought to write now that ive finished, it will probably look very different this time next week but that's the fun of it aint it. also now that its there im motivated to get back to making silly animatics so i can put something there that is like over 4 years old yayyyy!!! also the music tab!! ugh im excited to actually be able to get shit out of my head for once. I think this sites really doing something for me. I might have to make a separate sub section for youtube mixes that i like, i've got to credit them for helping me make this site.today I also added a lot to my preexisting background, and a slight makeover to the index ^^ ! im really happy with it! I left the writing page brown because i feel it suits it, although it's still very empty. It’s the thing im most scared of, oc stuff. But as i put up more art naturally i'll have to do small oc pages, and them i'll probably have something there. i might add more stamps that i've found to morrow to but i really got to get to bed so-
» 1/25/24
I feel like im avoiding the art pages. i'm quite bad at taking photos of my work but i also think im nervous just to put it up. I know im gonna end up being really perfectionist with the page layout but i have to try to do it. plus doing the other pages i have up in between is gonna take longer. Really i'm writing this during a break in my school work on my dying laptop. while i would like to feel like i'm doing something by coding im afraid of her exploding. I don't have a mechanical pencil on me today, it's not a big issue it's just that i like them to draw better than my other pencils. I don't have anything to really do as I write this. I could probably be doing charter writing but this is also fun, if it feels disjointed its because im just typing what's on my mind.I entered a bid for another camera, its a JVC GR-D775, its a dollar but 13 for shipping (us). It's got the box, cd rom, manual, everything. mint condition and i'm the only bidder, it ends in about 4 days and i'm afraid i might actually nab it. My mom just chewed me out for being irresponsible and told me I can't do or go anywhere because studying isn't involved and here I am buying a third old ass camera. I've already got my story for if ~15 bucks disappears from my card. but shes nice and im excited. I wish my mom was nice.
» 1/10/24
I want this site to be lame i think. Just like uncool. not in a lazy war or in a contrarian not like other people way i mean in like a genuine this is the best expression of the self kind of way. Because Im lame, I'm not cool. I bought a shitty camera off ebay for 20 bucks from a company i can't find shit about cause it looked funny. The only resource I could find for the model I have is this video of some kid and literaly Nothing else, like come on mann.I think I get too caught up in the way things appear to be sometimes, when I can form such elegant sentences and have concise conversations in my head yet cannot put pen to paper or raise my voice to my throat when it matters. I think if i make this site uncool when i have the time and strength to ill really make something out of it. or it'll get worse. And i know me.